


The Stream Of Creation

by DodieYellowThough



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Brotzly - Freeform, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-07
Updated: 2017-05-07
Packaged: 2018-10-29 01:44:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10843908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DodieYellowThough/pseuds/DodieYellowThough
Summary: The stream of creation, a powerful and strong force that will pick up anyone on its way and drop them somewhere completely foreign and dangerous to some, but amazing and beautiful to others. Dirk Gently faces another realization that sooner or later, they will come for him and he will once again end up alone. Or will he.





	The Stream Of Creation

Dirk twisted and turned in his bed; shoving the blankets off and back on him. He hadn’t been able to sleep properly for a long time now and it’s only gotten worse. Every night he would go to bed early but wouldn’t fall asleep until the early hours of the morning. He kept feeling this feeling that he himself didn’t understand. This feeling you get when you’re happy, mixed with the one you feel when you’re sad and the one when you’re nervous. His stomach twisted and turned and hurt, as though thousands of captive butterflies were trying to push their way out of a brick box. His head spun like those roller-coasters you go on at an amusement park except his head could spin a thousand times faster. He felt as though he had to hold onto something to stop his head from spinning even though he wasn’t spinning. He felt this rush of energy and of adrenaline, of happiness and of joy yet all wrapped up in a soft blanket of sadness, disappointment and intrigue. He felt as though his soul and self were being pulled by a magnetic force and that the world he loved and the people he cared about were being left behind. But he knew what it meant. He knew what it all meant. And he hated it. He had already felt this way before and he dreaded the time he had to experience it again.

Dirk sat up abruptly. He wasn’t able to sleep. His mind was filled with words and sounds, things he had heard and seen before and some were just alien. He was scared, worried that what he thought might happen which he knew would happen since this had happened once before, would happen again. Street lights were lighting up his room which was coming from his window he tried to cover up with a sheet, because he didn’t want to buy a proper curtain. Dirk stood up on his two shaky legs and walked towards his bedroom door which he always locked out of habit and not fear. Although he was scared. He always has been. Scared that his door would slam open like it did every time this feeling he felt took over his mind and body. Scared that pairs of hands hidden by black leather gloves would take hold of him and shove him to the ground, screaming and forcing him to leave. Scared of fear itself. But he had to be strong or at least pretend to be.

Dirk slowly unlocked the door with precision and sneaked out of his room, like a child afraid his parents would catch him in the act. He shovelled his feet across the wooden floor, casually tripping over the edge of carpets and knocking over books which were being greeted by the floor one by one. Dirk reached for a mug he didn’t own and poured in cold water which had been boiled that previous day. The tea bag had been dropped in the mug and was now soaking in the cold substance. Dirk fixed the water which was slowly changing colour, which made him think of blood spreading out onto water after a murder had taken place. He grabbed hold of the handle and sat down on a wooden chair next to the window. His stomach still hurt, his head was still spinning furiously and his soul was inexistent. 

Or so he thought.

The stars were shinning, lighting up the whole of his apartment. He felt a kind of comfort in knowing that the universe could produce a light that would always be there even when he wouldn’t be. That the light he saw coming from a place 46.5 billion light years away was the same light a new born child could see in 100 years’ time. Dirk took a sip of his cold tea and set it onto the windowsill as he continued to observe the stars which were peeking out of the clouds, barely visible in the sky. 

Please don’t take me away this time he thought to himself as he wrapped his shivering self in a warm blanket laying around on the floor. He loved this place too much to be dragged away again. Todd, Amanda and Farah all meant a lot to him since he didn’t make friends easily. Or not at all. He was so thankful for having them in his life and for them to accept him in theirs meant that he had done something right, after all. He never did things right. Every time he tried to accomplish something or to be friendly and kind something would always backfire and it would all fall on him. It was his fault, his mistake, it was always him people would scream at and leave behind. But not this time. Not with these people. For once he had been accepted and he felt as though he finally belonged somewhere. Three people were able to understand him, liked him, and accepted him and his crazy gift that he loved and felt was a burden all at the same time. He was finally happy being where he was, surrounded by people he loved and doing things he was born to do. But he knew it couldn’t last forever and that’s what he hated most about being who he was. 

A knocking at the door disturbed Dirk’s thought and he blenched in fear. Thousands of questions were rampaging through his brain, his face flushed and his body temperature augmented. Dirk quickly stood up and paused, trying to compose himself, to calm himself down. A second knock sounded at the door, this time louder and more determined. Dirk’s mouth went dry as he rubbed his fingertips against the damp palm of his hands. Dirk was hesitant and didn’t know whether he should open the door or not. 

“Who is it?” 

His voice was shaky but strong. He wasn’t ready to be taken away. Not yet. Not any time soon. Dirk just hoped that they hadn’t come now.

“It’s Todd you idiot!” 

Dirk should had felt relaxed by the familiar voice he heard coming from the door but he wasn’t. He had always learnt to never trust anyone because even his closest friends could turn out to be his closest enemy. 

“Now how do I know that this is you and not some sort of monster working for the FBI or- 

“Dirk would you stop being you for a second and just open the door?”

Dirk rushed to the door and opened it, his blanket still wrapped around himself. Todd’s shoulders were slumped forward as he rubbed his face with his hand. Dirk questioned to himself what could bring Todd to his door in these early hours of the morning. 

“I- Im sorry I just. I couldn’t sleep and I heard noises coming from your apartment so I guessed you were awake and so I was wondering if you wanted some. Company.“ 

Dirk, hesitantly hovering at the door looked down on Todd. He was happy to see his friend standing there and not a group of people dressed in black ready to take him away. Maybe they won’t take me away after all Dirk thought to himself as he smirked. Dirk’s face fell as thoughts rushed through his head making it spin faster and faster like a race car out of control. You idiot of course you’re going to be taken away that’s always what happens and it will happen again and again until you’re dead you can’t escape it Dirk it will haunt you forever-

“Dirk?” 

Dirk widened his eyes as he let out a soft humming sound, letting Todd know that he clearly hadn’t been paying attention to anything he was saying.   
“You haven’t been listening to a word I’ve said, have you?” He continued as he smiled, crossing his bare arms against his chest. 

Dirk rubbed the back of his head as he looked at his feet, then back up to his friend who was looking at him with a concerned look. He shook his head and smiled along with Todd, slightly laughing at himself. His friend lifted his eyebrows as he pointed towards Dirk’s living room asking him, once again, if he wanted his company or not. Dirk smiled again and nodded as he moved out of Todd’s way, keeping a hand on the door so it wouldn’t slam shut on his friend. His blanket, which draped on his stiff shoulders slid on the ground as he walked behind Todd towards the chair. They both sat down in silence, giving each other quick glances to make sure the other was okay. Dirk looked out of the window, still admiring the stars in the sky which looked peaceful and calming. Dirk’s face softened and his eyes slowly shut as his chest expanded and stood still, as though he had to take one last deep breath before going underwater. His eyes opened again and he exhaled through his nose and mouth, letting out all the air in his body, in his soul and in his mind. Todd moved his chair closer to Dirk’s and sat cross-legged, leaning back in his seat. A cold winter breeze entered the room through a small crack in the window, rubbing against their skin sending shivers through their spines.   
Dirk shivered as he brought his legs closer to his chest and wrapped his arms around them, still tightly holding onto the extremities of the blanket. His head rested on the top of his knees as his fingers tapped against them; a sign of nervousness and of impatiens. His legs twitched and he seemed to be looking into the void. Into nothing. His shaking and twitching abruptly stopped, as though someone had paralyzed him or tied him up in thousands of ropes, removed his nerves, his mind and his heart and replaced them with air.   
Todd could see that Dirk wasn’t well. His face was flushed and his lips were twitching. Todd’s eyes flinched as he examined the steady man who was sitting still in his chair. 

“Dirk?” Todd asked as he tilted his head.

Dirk didn’t reply. He was so focused and observant that he wasn’t listing to his friend speaking. Todd began to feel concerned for him. He had never been this way, not in the three years he’d known him. Dirk had always been this beaming ray of sunshine, casually messing up and saying things he shouldn’t say to people he shouldn’t be talking to. Todd knew that Dirk was an emotional person, someone who would cry and laugh when no one else did, but this, this shaky messy man wasn’t Dirk.   
Todd poked Dirk’s arm. He was stiff and rigged, barely moving. 

“Dirk” Todd continued. 

“Ugh sorry I- I wasn’t listening what were you saying?” Dirk replied as he slightly shook his head and looked at his friend, who’s eyes were burning with concern for him. Dirk offered a soft smile to Todd as he waited for the answer. Todd nodded, then shook his head.

“Dirk what’s wrong with you? You’re acting really weird.” 

Dirk’s hand covered the whole of his face as he shewed out words that Todd could barely understand. “I know it’s just I- urgh!” His hands rested on his knees as he crossed his legs and turned his body to face Todd. He scratched his head and exhaled, took a deep breath and quietly spoke.

“I’m scared Todd.” He whispered almost incomprehensible. His eyes had gone teary and his voice was shaky. Todd’s eyes widened with intrigue as he looked at him. 

“Scared of what?” 

“The stream of creation Todd. I’m afraid of the stream of creation.” Todd squinted his eyes in confusion. He was lost, he didn’t understand what he meant by that even though Dirk had briefly talked to him about it. 

“The stream of creation takes people away; it takes me away from places and people I love and I hate that I don’t want that. I’ve never wanted that. But it’s not like I have a choice. I feel this- this thing that takes over my mind and my body and then it. happens. And people come to me and they hurt me and they scream and scream and all I can go is listen because if I move they’ll hurt me and they-

His voice started to break and tears flooded his eyes, slowly dripping down his pale cheeks. Dirk stopped and leaned his side against the back of his chair. His hands covered his face. Todd set his hands onto Dirk’s wrists and caressed the back of his hands with his thumbs. 

“Dirk?” Todd said calmly as he slowly removed Dirk’s hands from his face, still holding onto his wrists. Dirk’s face had gone red and so had his eyes and his cheeks. He felt embarrassed for having cried in front of his friend. He never wanted people to see him this way, so emotional, fragile and so broken. But he couldn’t help himself from being this way. These emotions and feelings that he was undergoing had ruined him. He felt completely lost, like a boat that had drifted away too far from the shore. 

Their chairs were close enough for Todd to easily drape his arms around Dirk into a tight and comforting embrace. He slowly rubbed his hand along Dirk’s back, trying to steady Dirk’s breathing. Dirk’s head rested in the crook of Todd’s neck, his arms tight around him. Todd understood how much pain Dirk had to go through in his life, having to deal with people screaming and hurting him all the time, telling him where to be and to always be alone. 

Todd whispered into Dirk’s ear as he tightened his grip. “I’m sorry that you have to go through all of this Dirk. I really am.” Dirk slowly nodded. 

“But listen to me. Please.” Todd let go of his friend and set both his hands onto Dirk’s shoulders. He looked into his eyes and could see that Dirk was paying full attention to the ground. Not his voice or his presence but the ground. Todd tilted his head as his friend lowered his head even more, tears still falling down his face.

“I will always be here for you. I won’t go anywhere I’ll stay right here. I promise Dirk.” As he heard these words Dirk lifted his head, surprised by what he was hearing. Dirk always imagined that he would always be alone through everything life would throw at him. But what he heard from Todd, about always being by his side, meant that maybe for once he wouldn’t have to be alone. Maybe he had finally found someone who cared enough to go fight with him. Dirk whipped a tear from off his cheek, Todd still holding onto his shoulders.

“Really?” He asked, as he gave Todd a soft smile. Todd rapidly nodded and a smile covered the whole of his face. 

“Yes of course. Always.” Todd replied, slightly tightening his grip on Dirk’s shoulders. 

Dirk’s smile slowly faded away as he continued to think about the worst things that could happen. To him and to the people he loved. 

“But Todd it’s not only that what if they-

Todd removed his hands from his friend and stood up in front of him. “Dirk no even if they take you away, like if they literally lift you up and move you to another place, I will be there. I’ll take your hand and we’ll go together.”

Dirk laughed along with Todd and gave him a joyful smile. Todd reached for Dirk’s hand and held it tightly in his. 

“Just. Like. This.” 

He smiled at Dirk as his eyes looked down at him with such softness. Dirk could sense that he was telling the truth. He always knew when Todd was lying, but this time he wasn’t. Dirk’s eyes began to water as he looked up at his friend, standing right in front of him, holding his hand like he would never let go.   
Todd let out a small laugh as he began to speak.

“Is that okay with you?”

Dirk nodded and rapidly stood up, throwing both of his arms around Todd. His forehead was resting on his friend’s shoulder as he tightened his grip. Todd’s arms rested on Dirk’s back. He could feel droplets of tears sliding down Dirk’s face and onto his shoulder but it didn’t bother him at all. He was happy that Dirk was happy and if that meant getting his shirt wet from tears of happiness, then it was all worth it. 

“Thank you Todd” Dirk quietly mumbled.

“You don’t have to say thank you Dirk. I’ll do anything for you, trust me. And if that means going with you to a place far away from home than consider me on your side.”  
“Always.”


End file.
